Teenage Drug Use – Try a Playful Parenting Style.

Although good parenting means imposing discipline, making rules and setting boundaries, many overlook the possibilities of enhanced childhood development by having a playful parenting style. Drug use by young people is often associated with depression and anxiety. Drug use by teenagers is often an attempt on their part to bring some excitement and joy into their lives. Children simply don’t find the path of drug use attractive when they have more enjoyable things to do.

Children learn by observation and example, and it is for parents to be good role models for their children no matter what the family structure is or the chosen parenting style. Parents and parental figures have a great deal of influence over the way that their children experience and begin to understand the world, and learn to relate to other people. It is from their early interaction with parents and caregivers that children develop life skills. When parents face the ups and downs of life with a healthy optimism, and don’t resort to pessimistic drug use, children are unlikely to see drug use as being of any benefit or help when faced with life’s difficulties.

Having a playful parenting style means that life is not seen as a depressingly endless chore, full of duty, obligation and stress. Playful parenting means entering into the spirit of life, valuing the family and everybody in it. It is about not taking the everyday problems in life too seriously, and taking the time to enjoy and prioritize the family.

No institution can ever replace the bonds and strength of a happy, united family. Playful parenting puts the family first – before money, status and social prestige.

When parents have an optimistic and playful style, the children will feel relaxed, important and noticed, most of all the children will have emotional security. When parents become caught up with worries, the children feel neglected, children feel diminished and unimportant – they will lack self esteem.

The child psychologist Donald Winnicott wrote many works about the early development of infants, one of the most widely read being “Playing and Reality”. In his work, Winnicott emphasizes the need for developing children to achieve a sense of independence and autonomy in relation to their mother and parental others. Providing emotional security for the child as a basis for gradual separation from the “mothering one” opens up a world full of wonderful new experiences. Children learn about the world when they “play”. Being under or over protective of a child doesn’t help them to become emotionally mature or independent. Children free of issues relating to their emotional security will feel confident and free to “play” in and experience the world for themselves.

Teenagers who don’t have a strong sense of independence and emotional security are those most at risk of turning to drug use when feeling depressed or deprived. Children with an immature attachment style will often see in drug use the comfort of a surrogate “mother”, or enjoy the feelings of empowerment that the use of some drugs brings.

Playful parents present their children with opportunities and occasions to explore an exciting world from a secure emotional place. As the child grows up and starts to move away from “home” if they have always been encouraged they will find challenge and “fun” in the world – it will be a rewarding place. Children who feel confident, and secure in themselves will not resort to drug use to meet emotional need or as a substitute for real life.